After letting Monroe and Walker get used to their new environment, I spent some time that evening in the room playing with them. I sat on the bed and they were huddled in the corner under the tall cat tree. To my amzaement, Walker was the first to come out and play with the teaser. It took about 15-20 minutes for Monroe to start playing. I didn’t try to touch or pet them. My goal was for them to recognize me and begin to trust me. They need to learn that people are good. That’s the whole point o socialization.

What is socialization?

Kittens who don’t have human conact soon after being born will become feral whether their mother is feral or not. The only difference between feral cats and domestic cats is the way they behave. The basic difference in behavior is how they interact with humans. Unless they are forced into a situation they cannot excape, a feral cat will avoid human interactions. Feral cats are not to be feared or exterminated. In fact, a colony of TNR ferals can be beneficial to the environment.

Socialization for a kitten (or cat) is simply getting that cat to trust and interact with humans. A friend of mine has a house cat that it took them 1 year to get him to trust them. But that cat has become an integral part of their family. My first solo cat as an adult, Shadow, was a feral who became an indoor cat and was a very loving, sweet, outgoing kitty.

Building Trust

I have high hopes for Monroe and Walker. The first task is building their trust. The basic tips on getting a cat to trust you are:

• Respect their space. Some cats take longer then others to adapt, but they need to know they can get away if needed.
• Let them come to you. Forcing a friendship on a cat is the best way to get the cat to avoid you.
• Be predictable. Move gently and speak softly. Don’t yell, startle or lunge at the cat.
• Keep interactions positive. Keep playtime fun. Use toys the cat can enjoy.
• Use positive reinforcement — treats, soothing voice, respect their decision to not come out. Use positive reinforcement for the desired social behavior.

Getting to know you

Day one is all about getting to know you. You don’t immediately trust a person you meet, correct? So why would you expect kitty to do the same? We don’t know what Monroe and Walker’s interactions with humans has been in the past. But the goal now is to get them to see humans in a positive light.

On a regular basis, I went into the room, sat on the bed, and used a teaser toy over the side of the bed to get them to play. As we progressed through the day, I showed a bit more of who was tossing the teaser for them. Monroe actually pulled the teaser toward her and sniffed my hand a couple of times. I didn’t reach out to pet her. I just wanted her to get my scent. Walker was always the first at the teaser. He really played up a storm. He looked at me and knew it was a human, but wasn’t too interested in who I was. Toward the end of the day, I let my hand drop over the edge of the bed with a kitten treat. When he didn’t run away, I placed the treat on the floor for him to see and let him come to get it.

Final play time before bed I switched it up. When I came in the room, they didn’t immediately hide. They were under the bed. So I sat on the floor at the end of the bed and used the teaser to get them to play with me. During this play session, they started darting up on the bed. Morgan came up to my foot, sniffed and licked my heel. Below is a video of our first play session.

Do’s and don’ts on playing with a cat

DO NOT play a game where kitty chases your hand. Do not use your hands or feet as a toy for kitty to chase. Kitties love small wiggly things. They can also distinguish objects. If you teach them your small wiggly fingers and toes are toys, you are in for a biting problem. The boys who were Hayden’s first humans did this. I took me a few months to train him from thinking of my toes and fingers as play toys.

DO USE use appropriate toys. Cat teasers, catnip balls and mice, feathers, or even ping-pon balls in your bathtub (no water) can be a fun play time. Make sure you distinguish which objects are toys and which objects are not. If you don’t want your purse and shoes to be chewed and scratched, move them away from your cat if they start to play with them. Again, they will learn and play with the toys you let them play with and if you consistently remove items from them during play time, they stop playing with that item. No need to yell or admonish kitty. Simply remove the item or move kitty from the unwanted spot. Kitty will learn.

DO NOT use the bed covers with your hand under it. The next thing YOU will learn is that kitty will pounce on your feet at night while you are asleep. Naturally — because you taught kitty that objects moving under the covers is a toy. Kitty can get her claws through your blanket. I made this mistake with Shadow. Eventually I learned — and so did she.

DO supervise cats with children. Children do not know the difference between a gentle stroke and tugging a tail. One act will get the child rewarded, the other will not. Even children who are simply playing may move too quickly and startle your kitty, which will not end well for the child. Don’t believe all those cute photos of a child with a cat or dog. Those things are staged.

DO NOT yell or admonish your kitty when he or she begins to play too rough and tries to bite or scratch you. Simply stop playing. Ignore kitty. Kitty will learn that biting and scratching means an end to fun. Even Hayden at over 10 years old who had been taught to bite and scratch as play learned that lesson.

DO pay attention to kitty’s tollerance for play. When they are done, don’t press them. If they become over excited, possibly hiss, stop play time. Give kitty the respect of their space. If they are hiding and a little tease doesn’t get their attention. Simply remain in their presence quitely. Possibly read a book. Kitty will appreciate the peace and respect. You may get a treat of kitty checking you out!

Let’s see what happens on Day 2!